I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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