Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
