Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
