I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
