I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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