So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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