sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
My balls are so social today.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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