Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
