Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
