im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
