My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
