apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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