real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
