You made me cry and you don't even care
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
