GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize