Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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