Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize