OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
