btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
