Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
