their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
