why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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