great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
