Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The power of my boobs compel you
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
