My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
