forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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