the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
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I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
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I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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