Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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