she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my poor anus
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
