I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You can't just leave with hair like that
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
