I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
