I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He kissed a someone with a penis
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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