Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
