i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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