omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
accomplished twins. life is a go
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
