I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
