It's just like the Real World with babies
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
