It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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