Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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