The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
