one might say we're banned from that church
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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