Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize