And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
