have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So much Jack, so little girl.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
