ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize