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I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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