Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
