He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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