doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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