that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
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Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So much rum. So many feels.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?