Screwed.edu
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
