It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
