No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
