I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
