she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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