She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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