Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
