My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
