OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
