so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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