dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
