Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
