I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
